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wtf should i ask for for christmas?

December 25th, 2009
vinyl record

who doesn’t love a record?

Again with the questions.

People head over to wtflist for the answers. Like the one troubled soul who was searching for the answer to the eternal question, “wtf should i ask for for christmas?”

wtf do we look like? Santa “WTF” Claus? Makin’ a list, checkin’ it twice. gonna figure out wtf you want for christmas if you’re nice.

Oh we kid. Dude, we hope we helped you figure it out. Just a guess – was it 12″ and black? (who doesn’t want a record for christmas??)

people

wtf is with gap and old navy commercials?

November 21st, 2009

The holidays are here (almost) and GAP’s crappy holiday tv campaign has begun. I’m sure you’ve all seen them the commercial by now – it’s running every commercial break on every station and sometimes twice per break. It’s the one with the stomperific chanting, dancing and posing about Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa with people every shade of the rainbow. Seriously GAP, wtf? I’ve never seen such a blatantly commercial attempt at being all “inclusive”. The rap/chant is not interesting. The dancing and posing might have been cool ten years ago – it’s like a bad cheerleading practice using GAP outfits as uniforms (and using a place that looks like a gym to film only reinforces that feeling). GAP, wasn’t it enough to torture us with the horribly bad Old Navy Super Modelquin ads?

companies, rant , ,

wtf are you doing searching for career advice here?

August 24th, 2009
for doubling traffic

for doubling traffic

Did you know that wtf list ranks well for career advice? It’s true! Do a search on yahoo for “wtf is a good career for me” and you will find us. Looking at the referral stats for the site I found this steamy nugget. This makes me go wtf?! for a few reasons.  First, who searches for career advice like that? I’ve got a pretty good idea why you are unemployed. Second, what made you think we had career advice to dispense? Look at the last few posts! Do we look like an educated bunch? Do we sound employable?

But hey, we aren’t complaining. You just doubled our visitor count all by yourself. Be sure to put that on your resume before your next interview. To help, just print out the image above and tape it to your resume. It’s quite the accomplishment – you should be proud!

etc. , ,

wtf greedy bart unions?

August 16th, 2009
the bay areas not so rapid transit

the bay area’s not so rapid transit

I know I will be cursing your name tomorrow when I have to drive with an extra 350,000 people on the road. You greedy bastards. What? While everyone else is getting laid off or getting pay cuts, it’s not enough to be the highest paid (even adjusted for cost of living) workers in the country? Damn, you work in a booth or drive an automated train and you get triple digits when your benefits are included.

————

Update:

“BART and the Amalgamated Douchebag Union have reached a tentative agrement to avert a strike, and service continues…”

rant , ,

wtf bay bridge driver for august 5

August 5th, 2009
drivers beware

drivers beware

This driving instructor is a perfect example of a wtf bay bridge driver. Over the last 100 feet leading up to the toll booth they changed lanes 5 different times. I’m guessing the blinker must have been broken on their shiny new blue Toyota Camry because I can’t think of any other reason not to use the blinker a single time. Great job continuing your demonstration of how to create traffic with unnecessary and excessive lane changes well beyond the toll booth. I have to give you credit for reinforcing stereotypes about two different types of drivers. This WTF Bay Bridge driver goes to you driver of a blue Camry with CA license plate 5W0B169.

And while on the topic of the Bay Bridge – CalTrans, just because you are building a new span to update the bridge it does not mean let the road surface of the current bridge go to hell. Patch a pothole or two. My car will thank you.

people, rant , ,

wtf is with the san francisco bay bridge?

July 28th, 2009
a new way to funnel traffic

a new way to funnel traffic

Whether you commute to San Francisco for work or are driving to the city for pleasure (b/c it’s oh so pleasurable to walk down the urine scented streets and get accosted by the homeless the city celebrate) there’ s a good chance you will cross a bridge. If that bridge is the Bay Bridge, you are in for a real treat if you enjoy wasting an hour in your car sitting in stop-and-go traffic. It is not just that it is slow, the amount of time it takes is, for lack of a better way of putting it, consistently inconsistent. Time to get through the toll plaza ranges from 5 minutes to well north of an hour.

So let’s look at the problems. First who was the rocket scientist who dreamed up the MacArthur Maze? Who woke up and thought, “Hey, let’s dump three major freeways into some toll booths followed a set of metering lights. What could go wrong?” Add to that two more feeder freeways (24 and 980) that feed the freeways pouring into the Maze. Second, you’ve got different types of lanes for different types of drivers (carpool, cash/FasTrak, FasTrak only, buses/trucks). So you’ve got the traffic from all of these freeways madly scrambling to change lanes in a relatively short distance. What makes all of this more frustrating is that FasTrak is actually just as slow as the cash lanes, even with the cash lanes merging into each other after the toll booths but before the metering lights. This gives us the perfect lead into metering lights. I won’t even comment on metering lights – anyone who has experienced them knows that they cause nothing but extra wear and tear on your vehicle.

building a new parking lot

building a new parking lot

Finally we are left with the drivers who drive the Bay Bridge. This is the worst part. They take the smoldering ember that is the Maze/toll plaza/metering lights and stoke the flames until we’ve got an out of control wildfire on our hands. What compels these people to act like such complete idiots? The obsessive lane changing has got to stop. wtf? do you think changing lanes every five feet is going to get you there faster? And then there are the jackasses that enable them because they insist on staying 20 car lengths behind the car in front of them in stop-and-go traffic. CalTrans needs to install some type of dividers between lanes to get people to pick a lane and stay in it. What makes these lane changers even worse is that they couldn’t care less about signaling or even be bothered with checking to see if there is a car occupying the space the so desperately need move into. So with that, I would like to introduce a new weekly segment called “wtf bay bridge driver?” Each week we will one of the idiots doing their best to clog our roads and endanger their fellow drivers. Our first wtf bay bridge driver goes to the Volkswagon Golf driver with CA license plate #5GMJ151. We raise this one finger salute in your honor!

rant, travel , ,

wtf canon?

July 12th, 2009

You f-in greedy bastards. The MP830 printer is a total piece of crap that guzzles ink. Even when printing in black and white it defaults to using color inks. Those flawed chips you put on your ink cartridges that regularly malfunction make the printer massive paper weight on my desk because I can’t print a thing. Are you that desparate to squeeze every last dime out of consumers with your overpriced ink cartridges? Look everyone knows ink is where you make the money – do you have to screw consumers over with products that break trying to enforce your ink cartel. Printer manufactures might as well start an ink cartel like OPEC.

Thanks for totally f-ing me over when I needed to print something Canon. Last time I ever buy one of your products.

companies, products , , ,

Billy Mays is dead? wtf?

June 28th, 2009
RIP Billy Mays

RIP Billy Mays

We couldn’t care less about about Michael or Farrah or Ed, but Billy Mays? This sucks. Billy Mays was pronounced dead at his home on Sunday morning. We all know Billy from the OxiClean commercials and the Discovery Channel’s “Pitchmen“. He was only 50.

What is truly amazing is that the Shamwow guy, Offer “Vince” Shlomi, is still alive.

people , , ,

wtf treyarch?

May 10th, 2009
Restricted Call of Duty

Restricted Call of Duty

Treyarch, how do you mess up one of the best gaming franchises? Call of Duty : World at War has so many bugs and glitches it is ridiculous. I can deal with a lot of them (glitches on xbox live), but the fact that there is a bug with saving games makes me curse the day your company was founded. After spending hours, yes hours, to make it to some of the checkpoints on veteran I need to take a break. My game is saved so I take a break and turn off the machine. A few days later I fire up the old 360 and go to continue where I left off – only wait – what’s this I see?

Save game data is incompatible with the current version of the game. You may continue from the beginning of your most recent mission or exit to the menus.

WTF?! How many months has the game been out and the problem is still not fixed. After some digging through three “official” sites (treyarch, CoD and activision), I found this solution for the save game problem. This unfortunately doesn’t always work. I think today I will skip the video games and go outside and play frisbee with my CoD : World at War disc.

companies, products , ,

meat business cards, wtf?

May 6th, 2009
tasty business

tasty business

This one is, dare I say, kind of cool. It definitely made me say wtf? It’s business cards made from beef jerky. The guys at Meat Cards take 100% tasty beef jerky and use a 150 watt CO2 to burn in all of your vital details. They hope to work out the logistics soon so that they can sell this new must have for business professionals. It’s meat for when you meet.

etc., food, products, rave , ,