ipadding your shorts

April 4th, 2010

WTF is with the iPad hoopla?

All of you Apple doucebags need to take your pad and plug your gushing hole.
“I got two!” WTF are you going to do with two? Get off the local news and crawl back under that over-styled rock you crawled out from under. Do we really need to watch some 60 year old fanboy open a box? Do we need to hear how the iPhone revolutionized your life? I still would debate whether you have a life the way you are drooling over a gadget. The only thing that will be impressive about the iPad is watching you try to stuff it in your shorts when you try to take it with you everywhere you go.

people, products, rant , ,

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wtf is with jealous husbands?

March 15th, 2010
hey jealousy

hey jealousy

Look homeboy, I never touched your wife. Relax. Even before the two of you got together.

Don’t get pissed at her. Don’t get pissed at me. According to wolframalpha, you are 5622 miles away. What are you worried about? The only thing that’s going to drive her away is your insecurity. To quote LL Cool J, “You’re the type of guy that gets suspicious…”

Well, we know how that song turns out.

people ,

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wtf is with showing me your piece?

March 6th, 2010
packin' heat

packin’ heat

I met some guy for the first time yesterday and in the middle of a mall parking lot he opens the trunk of his car and pulls out a handgun. He takes out the clip and then hands it to another guy who points it at a nearby building and pulls the trigger without even checking to see if there was a round in the chamber. He hands the gun back to the first guy, who then tells a racist joke, gets in his car and leaves.

wtf just happened? Strange afternoon.

people

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check out our jewels, wtf?

January 2nd, 2010

First we had the video game, now we’ve got jewelry. That’s right folks – wtf jewelry has arrived courtesy of our friends at DiamondShark. We are one step closer to being certified as legitimate rappers. Now all we need to do is launch a clothing line, mix up a little cologne and maybe some overpriced water or crappy vodka. Ahh, the good life.

people, products ,

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wtf should i ask for for christmas?

December 25th, 2009
vinyl record

who doesn’t love a record?

Again with the questions.

People head over to wtflist for the answers. Like the one troubled soul who was searching for the answer to the eternal question, “wtf should i ask for for christmas?”

wtf do we look like? Santa “WTF” Claus? Makin’ a list, checkin’ it twice. gonna figure out wtf you want for christmas if you’re nice.

Oh we kid. Dude, we hope we helped you figure it out. Just a guess – was it 12″ and black? (who doesn’t want a record for christmas??)

people

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wtf is with gap and old navy commercials?

November 21st, 2009

The holidays are here (almost) and GAP’s crappy holiday tv campaign has begun. I’m sure you’ve all seen them the commercial by now – it’s running every commercial break on every station and sometimes twice per break. It’s the one with the stomperific chanting, dancing and posing about Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa with people every shade of the rainbow. Seriously GAP, wtf? I’ve never seen such a blatantly commercial attempt at being all “inclusive”. The rap/chant is not interesting. The dancing and posing might have been cool ten years ago – it’s like a bad cheerleading practice using GAP outfits as uniforms (and using a place that looks like a gym to film only reinforces that feeling). GAP, wasn’t it enough to torture us with the horribly bad Old Navy Super Modelquin ads?

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WTF is wrong with hiring managers & recruiters these days!?!?!

September 26th, 2009

I know the unemployment rate is over 10%. I understand that this is market is employers market and I don’t expect 5 job offers for each position I apply to. However, having positions posted, harvesting resumes, telling people that there is an urgent need to fill the aforementioned positions and then not even sending a quick yay or nay response is ridiculous.

I am not asking for much, I know how overwhelming the resume submission can be for certain positions. But with today’s Human Resources Information Systems, Applicant Tracking Systems and the web based application processes at least send out an automated impersonal notice that the position is filled and don’t leave people hanging! WTF!

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wtf are you doing searching for career advice here?

August 24th, 2009
for doubling traffic

for doubling traffic

Did you know that wtf list ranks well for career advice? It’s true! Do a search on yahoo for “wtf is a good career for me” and you will find us. Looking at the referral stats for the site I found this steamy nugget. This makes me go wtf?! for a few reasons.  First, who searches for career advice like that? I’ve got a pretty good idea why you are unemployed. Second, what made you think we had career advice to dispense? Look at the last few posts! Do we look like an educated bunch? Do we sound employable?

But hey, we aren’t complaining. You just doubled our visitor count all by yourself. Be sure to put that on your resume before your next interview. To help, just print out the image above and tape it to your resume. It’s quite the accomplishment – you should be proud!

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WTF Fat Chicks?

August 22nd, 2009

if you cant beat them, eat them

Dude WTF fat chicks? You are loud. You are obnoxious. You think you need to have a big personality to match your weight. Pretend all you want with that huge smile that it’s cool. All this talk about real women and real beauty. Ha! Let me tell you there are naturally skinny people. There are naturally beautiful people. Just because your not one of them does not make you any more real. Some are fat, some are skinny, some are ugly, some are hot, some are somewhere in between. Get in where you fit in. It’s not that you are fat that makes you annoying, it is living the overcompensating stereotype of the larger than life fat person that is annoying.

What is the deal with wearing skinny girl outfits anyway? Is it denial? Why the love of spandex and the bare midriff?

Silicone princesses are a whole different beast and just as bad. I will save that rant for another post.

people, rant , , ,

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wtf greedy bart unions?

August 16th, 2009
the bay areas not so rapid transit

the bay area’s not so rapid transit

I know I will be cursing your name tomorrow when I have to drive with an extra 350,000 people on the road. You greedy bastards. What? While everyone else is getting laid off or getting pay cuts, it’s not enough to be the highest paid (even adjusted for cost of living) workers in the country? Damn, you work in a booth or drive an automated train and you get triple digits when your benefits are included.

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Update:

“BART and the Amalgamated Douchebag Union have reached a tentative agrement to avert a strike, and service continues…”

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