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Archive for the ‘rant’ Category

ipadding your shorts

April 4th, 2010

WTF is with the iPad hoopla?

All of you Apple doucebags need to take your pad and plug your gushing hole.
“I got two!” WTF are you going to do with two? Get off the local news and crawl back under that over-styled rock you crawled out from under. Do we really need to watch some 60 year old fanboy open a box? Do we need to hear how the iPhone revolutionized your life? I still would debate whether you have a life the way you are drooling over a gadget. The only thing that will be impressive about the iPad is watching you try to stuff it in your shorts when you try to take it with you everywhere you go.

people, products, rant , ,

wtf is with gap and old navy commercials?

November 21st, 2009

The holidays are here (almost) and GAP’s crappy holiday tv campaign has begun. I’m sure you’ve all seen them the commercial by now – it’s running every commercial break on every station and sometimes twice per break. It’s the one with the stomperific chanting, dancing and posing about Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa with people every shade of the rainbow. Seriously GAP, wtf? I’ve never seen such a blatantly commercial attempt at being all “inclusive”. The rap/chant is not interesting. The dancing and posing might have been cool ten years ago – it’s like a bad cheerleading practice using GAP outfits as uniforms (and using a place that looks like a gym to film only reinforces that feeling). GAP, wasn’t it enough to torture us with the horribly bad Old Navy Super Modelquin ads?

companies, rant , ,

WTF Fat Chicks?

August 22nd, 2009

if you cant beat them, eat them

Dude WTF fat chicks? You are loud. You are obnoxious. You think you need to have a big personality to match your weight. Pretend all you want with that huge smile that it’s cool. All this talk about real women and real beauty. Ha! Let me tell you there are naturally skinny people. There are naturally beautiful people. Just because your not one of them does not make you any more real. Some are fat, some are skinny, some are ugly, some are hot, some are somewhere in between. Get in where you fit in. It’s not that you are fat that makes you annoying, it is living the overcompensating stereotype of the larger than life fat person that is annoying.

What is the deal with wearing skinny girl outfits anyway? Is it denial? Why the love of spandex and the bare midriff?

Silicone princesses are a whole different beast and just as bad. I will save that rant for another post.

people, rant , , ,

wtf greedy bart unions?

August 16th, 2009
the bay areas not so rapid transit

the bay area’s not so rapid transit

I know I will be cursing your name tomorrow when I have to drive with an extra 350,000 people on the road. You greedy bastards. What? While everyone else is getting laid off or getting pay cuts, it’s not enough to be the highest paid (even adjusted for cost of living) workers in the country? Damn, you work in a booth or drive an automated train and you get triple digits when your benefits are included.

————

Update:

“BART and the Amalgamated Douchebag Union have reached a tentative agrement to avert a strike, and service continues…”

rant , ,

wtf is with mommy bloggers?

August 10th, 2009

If the title doesn’t say it all then you’ve never happened across one of these pink and whatever colored, animated avatar using, I used to be a professional but, ego-centric, self-pitying, self-aggrandizing, blahblahblah websites. I don’t care who you are or were, blogging is not a career.

It’s time to start celebrating the daddy blogger! I’m talking about dads like those over at Mydadhomies. It’s time there was more testosterone in the blogosphere to hold back the estrogen tsunami. That right I said hold back. No need for any more rising up. The man has been beaten down as far as he can go.

etc., rant , ,

wtf bay bridge driver for august 5

August 5th, 2009
drivers beware

drivers beware

This driving instructor is a perfect example of a wtf bay bridge driver. Over the last 100 feet leading up to the toll booth they changed lanes 5 different times. I’m guessing the blinker must have been broken on their shiny new blue Toyota Camry because I can’t think of any other reason not to use the blinker a single time. Great job continuing your demonstration of how to create traffic with unnecessary and excessive lane changes well beyond the toll booth. I have to give you credit for reinforcing stereotypes about two different types of drivers. This WTF Bay Bridge driver goes to you driver of a blue Camry with CA license plate 5W0B169.

And while on the topic of the Bay Bridge – CalTrans, just because you are building a new span to update the bridge it does not mean let the road surface of the current bridge go to hell. Patch a pothole or two. My car will thank you.

people, rant , ,

wtf is with the san francisco bay bridge?

July 28th, 2009
a new way to funnel traffic

a new way to funnel traffic

Whether you commute to San Francisco for work or are driving to the city for pleasure (b/c it’s oh so pleasurable to walk down the urine scented streets and get accosted by the homeless the city celebrate) there’ s a good chance you will cross a bridge. If that bridge is the Bay Bridge, you are in for a real treat if you enjoy wasting an hour in your car sitting in stop-and-go traffic. It is not just that it is slow, the amount of time it takes is, for lack of a better way of putting it, consistently inconsistent. Time to get through the toll plaza ranges from 5 minutes to well north of an hour.

So let’s look at the problems. First who was the rocket scientist who dreamed up the MacArthur Maze? Who woke up and thought, “Hey, let’s dump three major freeways into some toll booths followed a set of metering lights. What could go wrong?” Add to that two more feeder freeways (24 and 980) that feed the freeways pouring into the Maze. Second, you’ve got different types of lanes for different types of drivers (carpool, cash/FasTrak, FasTrak only, buses/trucks). So you’ve got the traffic from all of these freeways madly scrambling to change lanes in a relatively short distance. What makes all of this more frustrating is that FasTrak is actually just as slow as the cash lanes, even with the cash lanes merging into each other after the toll booths but before the metering lights. This gives us the perfect lead into metering lights. I won’t even comment on metering lights – anyone who has experienced them knows that they cause nothing but extra wear and tear on your vehicle.

building a new parking lot

building a new parking lot

Finally we are left with the drivers who drive the Bay Bridge. This is the worst part. They take the smoldering ember that is the Maze/toll plaza/metering lights and stoke the flames until we’ve got an out of control wildfire on our hands. What compels these people to act like such complete idiots? The obsessive lane changing has got to stop. wtf? do you think changing lanes every five feet is going to get you there faster? And then there are the jackasses that enable them because they insist on staying 20 car lengths behind the car in front of them in stop-and-go traffic. CalTrans needs to install some type of dividers between lanes to get people to pick a lane and stay in it. What makes these lane changers even worse is that they couldn’t care less about signaling or even be bothered with checking to see if there is a car occupying the space the so desperately need move into. So with that, I would like to introduce a new weekly segment called “wtf bay bridge driver?” Each week we will one of the idiots doing their best to clog our roads and endanger their fellow drivers. Our first wtf bay bridge driver goes to the Volkswagon Golf driver with CA license plate #5GMJ151. We raise this one finger salute in your honor!

rant, travel , ,

wtf is with emily tan on sirius?

April 22nd, 2009
e-milyon reasons not to listen

e-milyon reasons not to listen

thanks for attempting to ruin another year of broadcasts from WMC. i know WMC was a few weeks ago, but hearing her babble the intro to DJ Times Shortlist reminded me how annoying she is. even if she didn’t say her name every other sentence, she would still be easy to identify by her inane chatter. and i’m not the only one who feels this way – a quick search of her name pulls up petitions to get Emily Tan pulled from WMC coverage. unfortunately, i guess it didn’t work this year. she still managed to interrupt mixes every five minutes with some of the worst interviews i’ve ever heard. i found myself begging my stereo to make her please shut up. to no avail. she just kept talking, mentioning her name , dropping other people’s names and acting like she was a dance music trendsetter. sirius, she seriously needs to go.

music, people, rant , ,

wtf is with people supporting/marching for Lovelle Mixon?

March 26th, 2009
maggot food

maggot food

This POS deserves to rot. I’m sure there’s a spot waiting in hell for the people who think he was a helpless victim too.

people, rant ,

wtf is up with people who won’t answer direct questions?

March 14th, 2009

This is something that has really been getting on my nerves lately. You ask someone a question and they don’t answer. This can be face-to-face, over the phone, by email, on facebook or wherever. You ask a question and the other person ignores it or answers with a question. For example, you ask the simple question “What would you like for dinner tonight?” and the response “What would you like for dinner?” Is that an echo I hear?

Every day I deal with sales people trying to sell me this or that and they are the absolute worst about answering direct, clear as crystal questions. For example, a common question might be “How many unique visitors does your site have?” and the typical response “We are the greatest thing since sliced bread and you know, [insert their competitor’s name] isn’t even in our class.” Did I ask about your competitor or sliced bread? A simple “We have 30,000 visitors per month,” would have sufficed. Heaven forbid you ask more than one question over email. You might as well have sent a blank email because the response will have nothing to do with anything relevant.

A perfect example is a salesperson who I had to deal with this week. It was Friday afternoon and they suddenly got it in their head that they had to do a deal in the next two hours. Mind you, this isn’t the first time they’ve pulled this stunt. “You need to sign this contract right now because I’ve got three other people waiting to take this spot if you don’t want it… and oh yeah, it is 10 times more expensive than last year and everyone else is willing to pay full price.” Several things are wrong with this tactic – but I will save that for another post. In the response to their kind offer (they, after all, took the time to email us out of “courtesy” because we already work with them), it clearly stated there are several questions that need answering before we can make a decision. The almost instantaneous response failed to answer a single one and went straight back to “Now or else!”

Well – I wish them luck selling their crap ad space with the oversupply of ad inventory that exists and the crummy economy further depressing prices.

companies, people, rant ,