WTF List » people

wtf – make a decision

ps — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 06:58:17 +0000

the product of top consultants

I have the feeling that some people can’t take a dump without hiring a consultant to tell them how. WTF? Make a damn decision.

Funny thing is I’m sure some consultant douchebag would actually take the assignment seriously. I can picture them creating a ridiculous process chart to map out how one takes a dump (see pic).

irs, seriously, wtf?

jr. — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 07:09:54 +0000

"My emotions don't like to be played with"

Dear IRS,
Ok, it isn’t bad enough that you have been requesting additional documents for almost a year for the homebuyer credit.
It isn’t enough that when I called and waited on hold for what seemed like an eternity it was only to speak with a 50+ year old man who sounded like he was fresh off the fry station at McDonald’s.
Can it be worse than when I had an accountant call and you basically told him you are understaffed and really have no idea what is going on or where you misplaced my documents, but you can confirm you received them.
Or the time you mailed me a letter saying that you were denying my claim in its entirety and wanted me to sign two documents saying that I agreed with the decision. And then in a follow up phone call said it was just an automated letter because you were behind on your paperwork.

That was frustrating and annoying. I mean what else can an individual do when IRS makes a decision, even a wrong one. It’s not like you can lock the IRS up in prison for failing to pay out a refund (kind of funny that they can lock you up though for failing to file). It’s not like it is worth it to get a lawyer because a lawyer’s fee will quickly eat up whatever potential return you are expecting.

But now I know you are just f—ing with me. WTF is going on over there? Not only did my credit magically appear in my bank account. It was 3 times the amount it should have been! I’m sure you made yet another mistake. I’m sure I will have to pay you back. I’m sure it is my fault somehow and I will owe interest. But seriously IRS, it really isn’t funny to tempt people with thousands of dollars they can’t touch even though it is in their account. Glad you think my bank account is a place where you can stash cash. To quote Big Worm, “Playing with my money is like playing with my emotions,” and my emotions don’t like being played with. He also said, “First of all, don’t be callin’ here like you some straight up G, cause I’ll cut ya balls off and hand ‘em to ya, patna. I had to warn you too many times about my money, Smokey. You see, it’s the principal. There’s principalities in the whole thing.” Unfortunately, I think that is what the IRS will be telling me when they want their money back.

wtf whiny facebook users

jr. — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:33:16 +0000

The problem with facebook users is the same problem that plagues america. They are a whiny bunch of self-entitled brats that love to complain about everything and do/give absolutely nothing. Sitting on your ass at home playing farmville all day and collecting unemployment (if filing the paperwork wasn’t too much trouble) and then wondering why the economy isn’t recovering and the house you put 0 down on is underwater. The free ride that was the housing bubble has ended. America didn’t become a superpower by complaining so loud that other countries gave us handouts to shut us up. We should rewards people with skills, talent and the ability to innovate, but instead we celebrate stupidity. I’m tired of all the whining when two seconds of self reflection would show people what the problem is. So why am I complaining about facebook users? Because their narcissism thrives in the facebook environment and civility is quite often thrown out the window because of the most trivial things. I don’t want to make this a broad, over-generalization about the 500million members, so let me clarify. There is a noisy, obnoxious subset that whines the loudest and probably spews 90% of the rubbish clogging up news feeds and walls. wtf is your problem whiny facebook user because I’ve really had it with your ungrateful attitude.

wtf – the dea hiring ebonics translators

jr. — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:10:08 +0000

I can’t make this stuff up – the dea is hiring ebonics translators. Apparently, Special Agent Michael Sanders said Tuesday “I think it’s a language form that DEA recognizes a need to have someone versed in to conduct investigations.” At least we know there is a job waiting for Michael Steele when his stint with the Republican Party ends. Or is this part of the government’s plan to keep unemployed rappers working? Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they find out what skeet means.

wtf, i just cried from laughter

jr. — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 06:50:29 +0000

Ok, you all know I’m no fan of fanboys or the sheep that buy whatever polished turd apple is marketing to them on a given day (the iphone – it’s the most revolutionary phone – so revolutionary you don’t/can’t even make phone calls on it). Today, a coworker shows me this video of the iphone 4 vs HTC Evo:

I was laughing so hard a tear ran down my check. wtf did I just watch? So simple, yet hilarious. I want the one with the bigger Gee Bees too!

That said, any idiot who joins a class action suit against Apple/AT&T rather than just returning their iphone 4 over its major design flaw is looking for a handout and is part of the reason that America will continue on its downward spiral.

ipadding your shorts

ps — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 06:27:21 +0000

WTF is with the iPad hoopla?

All of you Apple doucebags need to take your pad and plug your gushing hole.
“I got two!” WTF are you going to do with two? Get off the local news and crawl back under that over-styled rock you crawled out from under. Do we really need to watch some 60 year old fanboy open a box? Do we need to hear how the iPhone revolutionized your life? I still would debate whether you have a life the way you are drooling over a gadget. The only thing that will be impressive about the iPad is watching you try to stuff it in your shorts when you try to take it with you everywhere you go.

wtf is with jealous husbands?

jr. — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 06:06:09 +0000

hey jealousy

Look homeboy, I never touched your wife. Relax. Even before the two of you got together.

Don’t get pissed at her. Don’t get pissed at me. According to wolframalpha, you are 5622 miles away. What are you worried about? The only thing that’s going to drive her away is your insecurity. To quote LL Cool J, “You’re the type of guy that gets suspicious…”

Well, we know how that song turns out.

wtf is with showing me your piece?

jr. — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 04:42:49 +0000

packin' heat

I met some guy for the first time yesterday and in the middle of a mall parking lot he opens the trunk of his car and pulls out a handgun. He takes out the clip and then hands it to another guy who points it at a nearby building and pulls the trigger without even checking to see if there was a round in the chamber. He hands the gun back to the first guy, who then tells a racist joke, gets in his car and leaves.

wtf just happened? Strange afternoon.

check out our jewels, wtf?

jr. — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 19:11:51 +0000

First we had the video game, now we’ve got jewelry. That’s right folks – wtf jewelry has arrived courtesy of our friends at DiamondShark. We are one step closer to being certified as legitimate rappers. Now all we need to do is launch a clothing line, mix up a little cologne and maybe some overpriced water or crappy vodka. Ahh, the good life.

wtf should i ask for for christmas?

jr. — Sat, 26 Dec 2009 00:48:07 +0000

who doesn't love a record?

Again with the questions.

People head over to wtflist for the answers. Like the one troubled soul who was searching for the answer to the eternal question, “wtf should i ask for for christmas?”

wtf do we look like? Santa “WTF” Claus? Makin’ a list, checkin’ it twice. gonna figure out wtf you want for christmas if you’re nice.

Oh we kid. Dude, we hope we helped you figure it out. Just a guess – was it 12″ and black? (who doesn’t want a record for christmas??)